Its a 3 day weekend!

This weekend was homecoming weekend! It was pretty good. Friday night was the square dance (yes, we really did have a square dance). Even though its lame compared to everyone else's homecoming dances, it really wasn't that bad. It's just a lot of innocent fun! I spent the night with kelsey that night because we had to get up the next morning and get all of our stuff for our homecoming booth! We have a booth called "Curly's Diner" with our two friends, Jamie and Catie. It was a lot of fun but it was hard work too. Kelsey and I were sooo tired after the whole event that we went and bought the 4th season of Gilmore Girls and laid on the couch for the rest of the night. We honestly didn't move unless it was to eat (which is so typical of us!) I spent the night at her house again last night and then we went to church this morning. After that, I had to go to work (ugh) but I got off early because we were so slow and I came home and watched Steel Magnolias with my mom! Although, I fell asleep through a good 45 minutes of it. Oops. Then, Jordan picked me up @ 6 for a date! It was so fun! We went to Ruby Tuesdays and then to his house. We talked to his family and then watched a movie. It was good bonding time :)

This week is not going to be a very fun one. I can already tell. We have three pages of our SIP due. I am filling out applications and working on homework all day tomorrow. Wednesday I work. Tuesday I need to go to Mrs. Greene's house to work on Latin. And then Friday night I work, and Saturday I take the SAT and then work! AHHHHHHHHH. Talk about crazy. I hope I don't die by the end of this week!

Logic??

~Tomorrow starts homecoming weekend! YAY!

~EXCEPT... tomorrow is a half-day and we also have an all school chapel, so therefore each class is 30 minutes. Now, whose logic is this?!?! Gas is over $4 a gallon and we are driving all the way to Swannanoa for 3 hours of school in which absoulutely nothing will be accomplished. This will be my day tomorrow:

1) Bible Class (It is a film class and we are starting Forest Gump to look at different worldviews etc)

2) Government (this consists of Mr. Meiners talking)

3) Study Hall (this will probably consist of me finishing up my AP Latin)

4) Teacher's Aid (I will grade a couple tests and listen to Mrs. Hagan go crazy about the cell)

~Then, we will all go to chapel. What a worth it day of school...

~But, I did finally get off of work for tomorrow! I'm so excited! Now I can go to the homecoming square dance... yeeehaw. As lame as it is, I still think I should go for my senior year.

~I had a really bad experience at Sams Club today. It's a long story. But this lady was so mean.

~I also met with my advisor for my Senior Project today! It went really, really well. She helped me out a lot, and I could tell she was genuinely interested in my topic. It's nice to have an advisor who cares about what I'm doing.

~Katelyn Hosey and I have become wayyy better friends these last couple weeks. I love when God puts new friends in my life :)

Random Stuff

~First of all, this whole "no gas" thing is getting so annoying! I have absolutely NO gas and none of the gas stations around here have any.

~Did I mention how excited I am about the fact that I finally have verizon? It is the same number but just a better phone and wayyy better service!

~Have I ever said on my blog how much I truly believe that mowing is a boy's job? If not, I feel that is neccessary to be said. I HATE MOWING :)

~I'm taking both the SAT and ACT in October... now that is scary!

~Jordan and I have now been dating over 9 months :)

~Homecoming is this weekend! I'm feeling a little bittersweet about it at the moment but I think overall it will be fun!

Quote of the Day:

"Are you bugs bunny?!"

(I guess my tom and jerry costume with kelsey for cartoon day this week didn't work out so well)

Poems and Such

Today during study hall I had to write an Anglo Saxon poem for AP English. For those of you who know me pretty well.... poetry, writing, and creativity in general are not my strong points. At all. The requirements included four stressed beats per line and a pause in between (marked by the --). As I was writing this, I kept getting Mrs. Goffin to check it to make sure it was ok! :) But here is what I came up with:

HEARTBREAK:

The cylinder holder -- with emotion protected,
An armed wall -- of defences surrounded.
But to no avail -- for those who come
Clothed with beauty -- bold and brave,

With intentions to possess -- the battle began.

Then, taken captive -- by pretended love,
The cylinder shattered -- shards of emotion spread.
Nothing was left but the prong -- piercing and poking.
Finally drained -- what hope was to be had?

Until another -- more careful and considerate,
Coming with intentions -- not to harm but to cherish,
On two knees began -- shard by shard
Gathering with concern -- and safely giving back
To whom, alone, must choose -- what new to create.

And with intentions to cherish -- the battle again began.

So, I am not exactly sure what inspired this poem. Sure, I have had some heartbreak in my life, but nothing this drastic nor that I haven't gotten over. However, I do think that this was a little bit inspired by all the heartbreak a few of my friends are going through. My teacher, after reading this, looked up at me and asked "Are you and Jordan about to break up?" I just laughed and said "Definitely not."

After school, Anna Stewart, Kate Hosey, and I went to get our nails done! Kate and I got pedicures while Anna got a manicure. It was great! We went to this place called "Glamour Nails" and it was so relaxing. Jordan thinks me spending $30 on a pedicure is a 'waste of money' but he has no idea the relaxation it causes. I love it :)

Quote of the Day (idea stolen from Anna Hope) :

{this is in reference to me biting my nails, which is a HORRIBLE habit}

"Taylor! I don't think God made us to eat ourselves!" -Anna
"Yeah Taylor! That's cannabalism (sp?)!" -Kate

Hahaha I love my friends :)

Nicknames

Did I mention everyone at work calls me the "Fun Virgin"??

What a great nickname.... NOT.

God or Science?

So today at work, my friend Bailey got me thinking a lot. First, she came in and told me that she, just one hour before, walked in on her boyfriend and best friend having sex. What a blow. You could tell she was one of those people that just stuffs her emotions inside... and yet, you could still feel her hurt radiating off of her. Then, we proceeded to talk about the first time she ever told her mom she had sex and how she was fine with it as long as she used protection etc. I casually mentioned my mom would go CRAZY and she asked if my mom was 'really religious'. I just said she believed in God and that we all went to church. She said her mom didn't believe in God. I just frowned and said that I thought I would be dead by now if God wasn't in my life. She just continued looking at me with a puzzled expression and then informed me that she didn't believe in God either and how she has been in a half-dozen debates about it in the past week. I told her I wouldn't debate heatedly with her but that I did want to hear her thoughts. She said that there was just too much bad stuff in this world. And that she didn't think the Bible was credible. At all. I then said "well, if there is no God, then why are we here?" She answered "Science" with a shrug. I shook my head and said "I don't want to know HOW we got here, but WHY we are here. What is our purpose in living if there is no God?" At this point, we had to end our conversation because we had a ton of people coming through the door. And I don't know if anything I said meant anything to her... but who knows. Maybe when she lays her head on her pillow to sleep tonight, what I said will pop into her head. I never realized until tonight how much I really DO believe in God. I, like mostly everyone, has had my doubts but when it comes down to it, I don't see any other explanation to life. I don't see any other reason for life. It is so short and this can't be all there is. The main question that I REALLY wanted to ask her was this: What if she is wrong? Does that not scare her? I mean, if you believe in God... truly, truly believe, but you're wrong... Then nothing happens to you. And the only consequence is that you wasted your life believing in something that didn't exist. But, if you don't believe in God at all... and instead smite those who do, and you end up being wrong... then you will have all eternity in Hell to think about it. It's so sad and yet so true. How could someone live their whole life believing this is all there is? Bailey is my friend and I want to help her. I want to show her there is more. I just don't know if I can... I fail so many times. I say things about people without thinking. I complain. I feel so inadequate and yet, I know I am the only person in her life that doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, and doesn't have sex. I just want to help. I just don't feel qualified. I am hoping one day though, as we become better friends, that she will visit my church. I guess I'll just need to keep praying because, at the moment, the chances of that happening seems slim to none.

Sweet 16 = Officially Over.

Today I turned 17. And I must say that I wish I was turning 22 or something along those lines but thats ok... its good to at least be one more year older. I can't wait until I get to the age where I am not just wanting to get older, but instead content at where I am... I wonder if you ever get to that point? Or if the age you hit where you don't want to be older becomes the age when you just want to be younger. Time is so funny. And the funniest part is that it doesn't really even exist. We are living in this thing called "time" and yet, when all is said and done, time will be a faded memory in our minds. Gone with the Wind. I wonder if after we die, we will remember our life on earth... or if we do, will it be crystal clear? Or cloudy thoughts? Or not at all? Will we look back in disgust? Or in joy? Just some random thoughts.

Basically the stock market sucks at the moment. And gas is very scarce. What is happening in our world? Everyone who is so used to the everyday comforts (including myself) might actually have to be a LITTLE uncomfortable by what's going on right now. What a shocker. I wonder what would happen if we actually HAD to go through something difficult, something hard, something unbelievable... instead of just something that's a little out of our comfort zone (aka. paying $4.29 for a gallon of gas). I'm convicted a lot of my selfishness.

AP English is kicking my butt at the moment. We had to do this timed writing on this prompt from an Anne Bradsteet poem and I didn't do so well. I basically missed the over-riding metaphor completely. Mrs. Goffin said it was well written but that doesn't really get you that far if you completely MISS the meaning of the poem. Darn. I guess I will just have to try harder.

College is still up in the air. But for the moment, NC State is #1... but thats if I even go. So we'll see.

I'm finally getting Verizon tomorrow! This is exciting because I have had this piece of crap phone for forever and I am so ready for something that isn't junk!

Sigh. Sweet 16. It's all over. However, whenever I look back on this year, the only three major things that come to my mind are these:
1)Best Friends
2)Jordan
3)Babysitting

These are basically pillars that have held me up this year. Oh, except for the omnipotent God that is the one actually holding me while supporting the pillars. Where would I be without him? He is good. And he knows me to the core and still love me anyways. Scary and yet comforting. Life is such a mystery sometimes.

September (Birthday Month!)

So... the retreat sucked. As usual. But the nice part was that I didn't have to work for those three days... although I must admit I kinda missed working. Something about working at Lone Star makes me feel very productive, and that is always a nice feeling to have. I can't even really describe why the retreat sucked other then that retreats hold too many memories for me. Good and Bad... although mostly bad. So I guess this year I just wasn't up for making more that would probably turn out badly like most of the others. It sounds terrible to say, but its true. Jordan was there this time though and that helped a little. I seriously don't understand how he put up with me however, because I was in such a crappy mood. Not only do I not like retreats because of all the memories and getting sick of everyone etc, but also because I can NOT stand being in the outdoors for that long. I'm just not an outdoorsy kind of girl. I wish I loved nature and camping and hiking and all that fun stuff...but I don't. At all. Oh, and I always come back from the retreats with a cold. However, Mrs. Collie gave me some Vitamin C pills and they have been working miracles!

I got to babysit Friday night for the Collies which was good! I have missed those boys a lot (although they are pretty difficult to babysit). And then on Saturday morning, I babysat for the Bells which was also wonderful... I was really tired but Charlie (age 5) and Thomas (age 3) always, always make me feel better. Then I had to work... and since it was a Saturday night, it was really crazy! But I think I would rather it be crazy then extremely slow anyways. My manager Billy is really cool though which is awesome.

I now am volunteering at my church on "B" days which is good because I only have to make it through three classes! That is what keeps me going on those days because they are extremely hard. Whenever I hear anyone complain about AP Stats, it just makes me laugh because I am SOOOO happy I dropped that class!

I spent $48 at Target today... I can't even believe it either because going in, I was only getting face wash and a razor... and somehow ended up with a LOT more then that. Oh well.

My birthday is on Tuesday! I am pretty excited. We are having a family dinner but my parents said Jordan could come if I wanted him to (which of COURSE I do!) It's nice to finally think of myself as 17.... which isn't much better then 16 but at least its a little bit.

I really like our new pastor at our church. His name is Bruce Frank and after listening to his first few sermons, I decided that I really like him. He is a good preacher. Today, his sermon was on forgiveness and I surely needed to hear everything he had to say about what the Bible said. He just reminded me that everyone needs forgiveness. The most interesting part I thought, was when he said that the saying "time heals everything" is not true. And it makes sense. If someone hurts you enough, can TIME really heal it? Or does it only make you bitter? Or numb? Needless to say, it was a very interesting sermon... and the entire time I didn't look at my clock once :)

College is still up in the air right now. How can I have no idea what I want to do? Actually, thats not really a true statement. I KNOW what I want to do. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother. But apparently, you can't do that until you go to college and have a career first. Or at least that's what most people will tell you. However, I think it is very annoying that not until this generation did that become the way things should be. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that a woman's role is to be a "co-worker" in the household. I am not saying, of course, that they can't be or even that they shouldn't be... but just that it doesn't say that is the way things MUST be. Not even in the USA did that become the "norm" until these last 30 years. I wish I lived back in the 1800's where I wasn't expected to go to college and wait until I am twenty-five with a career to get married! It is so frustrating. Why do I have such a strong desire to be these things if I have to wait another 8 years?! Just some things that I think about a lot...

On a more random note, I really, really need a pedicure. I am hoping sometime this week I will have time to go and get one. It is just one of those relaxing things that I feel like I need to do soon! Plus, my toes will look much better :)

Stress to the Max

Lately, college has been really stressing me out. Where do I want to go? What do I want to be? Should I take a year off since I have no idea? UNCA and just work? Move to Charlotte or something and just work for a while? It all starts to run together and causes me to freak out. And what about Jordan? We have been planning to go to NC State together all year... And I still want to go to college with him, I just don't want to make any hasty decisions. I know we are going to be together a long time so I don't want to go to college without him. It's just a big decision. And I want to make the right one.

Oh. And my job. WOW. It is such a different world. I finally got out from under the ACA/Biltmore Baptist bubble that I live in. The girls I work with are SO different then I am. I have been working a lot too so I am really tired...but overall I am really liking my job. It's just taking up my entire life at the moment! The only sad part is that I can't babysit as much because I am working.... tear. tear.

Kelsey and I have devoted September 28th as National Kelsey/Taylor College Application Day. We are going to go to church that day, get some lunch, and then spend the rest of the day applying to all of the different colleges we want. It should be a very long day but hopefully we will get them all done.

Our high school retreat is next week...that should be interesting. Oh! And I turn seventeen on September 16th! It is about time... all of my friends are turning (or already are) 18 so I feel a little left behind, but oh well. I can't help it. I'm thinking about just going to dinner with a bunch of my girlfriends for my 'party' but we'll see.

I dropped AP Stats. That deserves a party of its own. And now during that period, I am volunteering at my church with my youth pastor John Mark. I am very excited because that is going to be sooo much better then school!

...well, thats basically the life of Taylor for the moment. Crazy. Stressful. Fun. Insane. Difficult. SENIOR!